blog, ya know?

i have a bad habit not sticking to routines. here is an attempt to keep my blog up-to-date.

[1.] today jam and i headed around the city to take some classy shots of the Steel City to show people in Japan. we got some beautiful ones from Mt. Washington (washington-san ^_^). i'll share my beauties with you all:


[2.] beth, tessa, and i kareoke on tuesdays in lawrenceville:

[3.] jordan has BBQs:

jordan and drew wrastle.

[4.] i am going to seiyo, ehime, shikoku, japan.

i think i'm turning japanese

so many things happened in April and i haven't been able to write about them until now. Namely, i have been accepted to JET!! i'll be leaving for japan August 2. my adventure will last for a year (at least). even though i was accepted back on april 6th, my family still doesn't know about my upcoming departure. today, though, i'll be making the trip in to ohio to tell everyone face to face.

i'm completely finished with my formal instruction in japanese and will severely miss all of my senseis, i hope that i find that i'm surrounded with people just as cool as they were once i get there. i'm still meeting with my langauge partner, takeshi, and having a wonderful time exchanging animes and insights. another note on japan: st. clair, bott, and perkins will all be there next year too! it's been too long without seeing these guys.

we've been playing pick-up soccer games with jordan and crew on wednesdays. it's a ton of fun and keeps me active - even if i am called a cherry-picker >:|. i've really lost motivation for my weekly exercise routine, so this is a nice supplement.

i bought a DS recently and am trying to figure out this game: Kakitori-kun.

vincent gallo...

in Glassjaw's Cosmopolitan Bloodloss video. (2002)

advice i liked from penelope trunk:

[... focus on finding work that has payoff on a daily basis since you can never know what will come next in your work life. Make each day one where you learn and have fun because putting that off for some maybe-payoff (like making partner at a law firm, or getting a fat paycheck) will make you feel like you’re not being true to yourself. Also, don’t be derailed by the cynicism of older generations. There is no rule that says they see the world more clearly than you do. ]

i like to keep stuff like this in mind when telling my gramma i'm quitting nursing to travel.

yay!

takeshi and i had our first meeting tonight! i received a meishi (!) and the realization that my nihongo is horrrible. will keep you all posted.

i am sick as a dog. at least was, i think i'm turning the corner today... we shall see - i thought the same yesterday. i believe its the flu: chills, fever, GI symptoms you wouldn't believe if i told you - and would scold me if i did. it all seems to add up to the flu. i've already missed 3 days of class which is unfortunate.

but there is some good that has come of this week. i've found a japanese speaking partner! i was lead to an announcement from my sensei and was the first to respond (probably the only who would have anyway, to be honest). we meet up tomorrow and will see how things go from there. his name is takeshi and he's 35, and his conversational english is much better than my japanese, so we'll see how it turns out.

more movies!

trainspotting

syriana

casino

Less Than Zero
(for those that may remember, i read the book in the fall, and i highly discourage
the watching of this movie -- it's terrible and completely rewritten)

spring break = movie watching!

here's a list of what we've watched again and some for the first time:

cape fear

memoirs of a geisha

brokeback mountain

swing kids

taxi driver

gangs of new york

yojimbo

annie hall
juno

blood diamond
rescue dawn

finsihed! [finally]

definitely worth the time it took to read.

ejercicio tiempo!

in light of spring fast approaching, i'm gaining the motivation i was lacking during the winter months.

i've decided to be more focused on a healthier-self. i'm trying to put together an exercise routine consisting of yoga, pilates, and the elliptical-trainer we have. (i also would like to lift weights like i vowed to do in the fall... but first, baby steps.) hassell and i made tentative plans to run together this spring, so that is basically what i'm conditioning myself for on the elliptical. i miss running so much and i'm glad to have a partner finally!

my interview experience:

i found this gem here. (david namisato)

last thursday i headed down to the Japanese Embassy in Washington for my interview.

overall, i feel that i did well. most questions i was asked i feel like my answer knocked the ball out of the park. there is one thing, however, that i'm not sure of what they thought; my "perfect English intonnation, rhythm, and projection skills." as i was so hyped up to providing good answers, i let down my monitor for my "umm's" and "like's" and my overall quick speech. we shall see what their opinion of everything was in the end. now to begin the waiting game.

walking in, i was greeted by some limited security. i had to present my ID and a "JET voucher" which was e-mailed to me and printed out (not very high tech). was scanned quickly by a metal detector wand and sent on my way -- "second door on the right, past the water fountain". in the waiting area there were more staff who collected my voucher permanently and tried to keep everyone in general order. there were refreshments and old photo books of previous JET's experiences laid out - the result, for me at least, was an even more solidified desire to get over there. i sat quietly and eyed my competition trying to measure, totally based off of first impression, if these people had what it takes. i was set at ease when not one, or two, but three people hurriedly came into the room and quixotically hoped to be allowed permission without bringing their all important JET vouchers.

now, is there any reason whatsoever that this piece of paper with a picture affixed can't be filled out while waiting to be called? no. but i think it is an exercise in following directions. written at the bottom of this printed out document was the stern warning: "You will not be allowed to enter the Embassy or interview if you do not have these items." so sitting there revved up about being interviewed by an important diplomat, scrutinizing my every detail, i felt a little more at ease: at least i was better off than those people.

the remainder of my competitors seemed to be a mix of anime otakus and quiet keep-to-themselves types. most were guys, of the 20 or so of us sitting there, only 3 of us were girls. and thanks to this advice, i think i was the best dressed in the room ^_^. shortly after my name was called and i was escorted back to let the games begin.

my panel (like all panels) consisted of 3 professionals, one at least of whom is Japanese. my interrogators were: one American - former JET of one year, now involved in administrative aspects of the program (i believe he is one of the application reviewers); a Japanese - principal at a Japanese high school; a Canadian - previous JET, not sure what she does now. i was assured before hand not to sweat it. "interviews are nothing more than [the company] trying to get to know more about you. treat it more like a conversation - just tell them a little about yourself..." unfortunately, it resembled a firing range of questions more than a "conversation". nonetheless, i feel that the experience went smoothly. they seemed to render me more as a nurse than a linguist which i found to be annoying, but thems the breaks i guess.

here are some of the questions i was asked:
1. why japan? why JET?
2. what is your view of the Japanese people?
3. what aspect of the English language do you expect to be the hardest for students to understand?
4. what 3 things would you pack in your suitcase to show students some culture of the US?
5. what do you plan to do in your free time in Japan?
6. what from nursing do i expect will help in my role as a teacher? (i believe the phrase "bag-of-tricks from nursing" was used) t_t
7. what is your favorite holiday? -- How would you teach that holiday to students who had limited English ability?
8. why do you want to leave nursing?
9. describe your previous teaching experience.
10. how do you think you will handle culture shock?

unfortunately, the entire interview was conducted in English, i really wanted to bust out some nihongo and wow the crowd. i shall save that bag-of-tricks for another day.

quick thoughts:

i. i want the world to know that Jioio's pizza is the best.
ii. i have 28 work days left at CHP
iii. i am finished with my 1st JET interview and will comment on it further when i have sufficient time
iv. i met up with Chen Hang today for the first time since his move to NYC
v. here are some pics from me and mei yun's day off together:

even the boys let us grab a picture

spring cleaning

i'm changing up the blog a little bit, tell me what you think!

this is the first time really manipulating code, so if you see something coded wrong, let me know! i based this off of the standard template "this-a-way rose".

Valentine's Day

happy valentine's day to all my friends in Nippon. here's a look at how they will be celebrating the day: Valentine's Day in Japan. slightly different than what Hallmark had in mind, ne?

cookies of your dreams.

these are the first vegan cookies i ever made! they are from a recipe from Em, who in turn got it from postpunkkitchen. these are fabulous and i don't like chocolate! here's the recipe, my lovelies:

3/4 cup canola oil
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1.5 teaspoons almond extract

1 tablespoon + 1 teaspoon whole flax seeds
1/2 cup soymilk

2 cups all purp flour
3/4 cup dutch processed cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup chocolate chips
1 cup coconut

Preheat oven to 350 F.

Grind the flax seeds on high in a blender until they become a powder. Add soymilk and blend for another 30 seconds or so. Set aside.

In a large bowl sift together flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt.

In a seperate large bowl mix together oil and sugar. Add the flax seed/soy milk mixture and mix well. Add the vanilla and almond.

Fold in the dry ingredients in batches. When it starts to get too stiff to mix with a spatula, use your hands until a nice stiff dough forms. Add the chocolate chips and coconut and mix with your hands again.

Roll dough into 1 inch balls and flatten into a disc that's about 1 1/2 inches in diameter. Place on an ungreased cookie sheet about an inch apart.

Bake for 10 minutes.

Chinese New Year!

Mei Yun invited James and I to celebrate Chinese New Year ( 春节 ). I honestly did not know what to expect but, we were greeted with a feast! it was all seafood - most of which still had eyes looking at us - and it was fabulous! i even called Chen Hang in New York to wish him a happy new year in Chinese!

we had: roasted duck, alaskan king crab, squid, another huge crab - deep fried, lobster, shrimp, clams, various sushis, fish (which no one knew the english name for), rice, singapore rice noodles, and many heinekens ^^! [i wish i got more close-ups of the preperation, everything looked great! some of the dishes weren't out yet and aren't pictured, ainiku...]

Xin nian kuai le!!

my sister on her 7th birthday

the thumbs up is my favorite part

exciting news!

i got accepted for the first wave of interviews for JET! ^_^ wish me luck. i'm about to do a world of researching of what they are looking for. the interview will take place in D.C., however, i do not know the date yet. now for the task of telling my family i've applied...

私が作たの。

today was a pretty eventful day.

james left for the detroit auto show today and will be caravaning with some friends of ours.

found out my sister is buying a house (and will be closing the next few weeks).

met up unexpectedly with hassell-san.

stumbled upon a lovely presentation/celebration of Coming of Age Day (成人の日, seijin no hi) complete with oragami and mochi rice.

attended a seminar given by my 日本語先生 onthe role of L1 in the acquisition of Aspect in L2.

this and that

2008 brings many new and exciting tidings.

first of all i received a confirmation letter that the japanese embassy got my JET application. i will know next month whether or not i will have an interview. on the same note, i'm continuing my nihongoing and am in the second semester of year 2 nihongo. i have also purchased this book (Essential Kanji) to upgrade some of my kanji skills. (i currently hold about a 1st grade reading level... maybe a little less, i know about 185 kanji.) it's a little outdated - it is based off of the touyou kanji list organized around the 1940s in efforts to standardize kanji teaching to lead to greater literacy in japan. the revised standardized list - the jouyou kanji list was organized in 1980. the newer list contains about 90 different kanji; the total sum, however, remains about the same ~~ 2,000. i bought the older book because it still has maintained good reviews, was a little cheaper, and i liked the design better than any other cheezy kanji books i've seen. anyways, this is what i'm going to be working on a great deal this year. i hope to achieve a 3rd grade reading level or better by the time i (hopefully) go to japan. we shall see.

on a sadder note, over the christmas/new year holiday Mei Yun and the Sushi Boat crew all headed up to NYC to spend time in Chinatown with friends and relatives. while up there, Chen Hang (my student) decided to remain in NY to attend school in Chinatown (seeing as he was getting nothing from our lovely chinese-free pittsburgh public schools), so as you can guess, i lost my student.
i am actually quite sad about all of this. i had prepped lessons over break and was currently developing a review game when i heard the news. i didn't get to properly end our sessions and i feel a lack of closure, but its the best for him, he was not getting anything out of our schools. our english sessions, however, had been going phenomenally. he retained almost all of our previous lessons and showed enthusiasm for learning new vocab (structure was not quite so).

presently he has a grasp on:
*20 or so irregular past verbs (make/made, eat/ate, drink/drank, etc.)
*can formulate past/present/future sentences (proper use of -ed/irregular umlaut form, +will for future)
*basic prepositional phrases (above, below, between, behind, under, etc.)
*formulate past/present/future negative sentences with "do" insertion and "did" marking past tense (i will not go, i do not go, i did not go)
*possessive pronouns (my, mine, his, her, your, etc)
*subject pronouns (i, he, she)
*object pronouns (me, him, her)
*general new vocabulary (emotions/feelings, family members, adjectives, etc.)
*just started to work with comparatives/superlatives (good>better>best, big>bigger>biggest) although, i'm not sure much of this sunk in
*pronunciation/spelling improvements

i wish i had more time, but i'm grateful for the experience i was able to attain. hopefully it will help me if i get accepted to jet. i can imagine it will be even easier because basic concepts and explanations can actually be said instead of always referring to an electronic translator.

in other news, i was originally planning on taking a graduate level second language acquisition class (SLA) but eventually bagged the idea. i sat in on one of the classes. i realized that the majority of the class are students seeking out TESOL certificates, which isn't a bad thing, but then found out that literally half of the classes were going to be peer taught (a student would have to present an article and lead a discussion during an entire class each week). one article, surmised by some TESOL kid. not even a PhD hopeful, with undoubtedly much more useful insight. so i decided i would buy the recommended book for the class and read all of the presentation articles on my own. i basically wanted to tune up my thoughts/experience with SLA, but i think i can do a better job of that on my own, at my own pace. the professor was a pretty kawaii older japanese guy slipping up with jinglish throughout the lecture which was interesting, but alas, i won't be going there any more.

oh, one last note: Luna bars are very very oishii! (from the makers of Clif bars)

Em & Jay's Christmas Party

we tapped it early in the night and let the good times flow

"...while the loss of liberty is ignored or rationalized away...whether it's [for] the war on poverty, drugs, terrorism, or the current Hitler of the day, an appeal to patriotism is used to convince the people that a little sacrifice of liberty, here and there, is a small price to pay. The results, though, are frightening and will soon become even more so." -Congressman Ron Paul, December 9, 2003

"i predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them." -Thomas Jefferson

today i am finished!

i finished my first semester of Japanese 2 today. I had Oshimo-sensei for my oral exam and i think i did alright. this semester was wonderful, i love my senseis and my classmates are pretty interesting as well.

now i'm off to listen to much Andrew W.K. (which i will thank martis for), teach Chen Han, then later i will put up our Christmas Tree.

most useful mozilla add-on: rikaichan

while browsing mozilla's latest updates, i came across quite possibly the most useful add-on i've ever seen. i will share it will all of you lovelies.

Requirements: Must use Mozilla Firefox as internet browser.

Description: Immediate Japanese Kanji translation device. (i.e. after installation, when you mouse over kanji you do not know, the application gives you immediately [in a small pop-up] the meaning, pronunciation and dictionary form of the character. also, if the word is inflected at all, the program breaks the word into it's base [dictionary] form for ease of understanding.

Directions:
1. first go to: http://www.polarcloud.com/rikaichan/
2. scroll down about half way until you reach the first blue box in the middle of the page. once there click "Install"
3. next, in the second blue box click on "Install" under Japanese-English Dictionary
4. open both executable files
5. open your mozilla browser
6. click on the Tools menu and select "Toggle Rikaichan"

and that's it! Enjoy browsing webpages in nihongo! ^_^

movies

friday night jam, brzrs, steve and i all went to see Beowulf at the IMAX theater. the movie was decent, there were dragons and swords and mead. if you haven't been to a 3-d movie in a while, please look at this picture to remind yourself of what you will look like.

thanksgivings

thanksgiving was last week. our 'day before thanksgiving-thanksgiving' party went off without a hitch. we had about 25 people show up in all. there was much merriment and eating.

my turkey turned out tasty - a little dry, but reasonable and the green beanies pretty much all eaten. the stuffing was immaculate, all of it went. em and jay brought amazing potatoes with dill. megart brought mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows. joel and erica brought 3 pumpkin pies. tessa was there in spirit and had mike bring a tasty cran-granola-brown sugar medley. valerion brought the turkey deep fryer. mei yun and chen han (actually came!!) brought sushi! and made mike re-fall in love with SB. i may be forgetting the rest but it was all delicious. oh yes, martis was also there in spirit - as was his vat of corn... but unfortunately he had to talk to the cops all night.

here are some photos from then:


as always i was extremely pleased to see filer and sohrab come out for the festivities! ^_^

teaching plans

this is a post specifically about teaching english to Chen Han:

when i first met with him this was the background information i was given:
he is 21, is attending a Pittsburgh Public highschool, and doesn't think his english is good.

given the above information i assumed that since he was in high school he probably had an elementary (at worst) competency in english. that was, unfortunately, wrong. he knew almost no verbs. almost no adjectives. and lord knows, no sentence structure, tenses, pronouns, possesives, etc. i mean the only thing i could think was: WHAT IS HE DOING ALL DAY IN SCHOOL?! and why the hell is the school not helping him!?

well, there was some relief when i realized that they had supplied him with an ESL study book. "good" i thought to myself "i'll just teach out of this book and help clarify if there are any questions." wrong again. the book first of all looks almost identical to my 8th grade Ven Conmigo spanish book, and the text in the book is COMPLETELY in english -- the language he doesn't understand. great.

so for the first week after getting my bearings i selected very few topics from this ESL book that were completely obvious without knowing english and started there. the first week we learned: colors, body parts, clothing, some classroom objects (the standard opening lesson for almost all language learning). but this book is just ridiculous, for instance, in the clothing section, it lacked the word "shoe" and instead only taught "sneaker" it lacked the word "sweater" and "shirt" but instead only listed "sweatshirt". i mean, really. come on.

for the second week of instruction, i had scoured amazon.com and other book sites (as well as checking all the barnes and nobles in pittsburgh) for a chinese/english learners book. there are almost none that i can find. after close to 5 days i came across a chinese/english oxford picture dictionary. that came late in the week, but helped tremendously. i couldn't imagine learning japanese if my JSL book was written completely in japanese. the only problem is that for structural issues, for example subject verb object word order in english, stuff like that isn't going to be listed in a picture dictionary... so that is my biggest obstacle at the moment.

things that i taught during the second week were: food items fruit/vegetables, subject pronouns (I, he, we, they), object pronouns (me, him, her, us), reviewed all clothing, body parts, colors (still a little trouble with "brown" and "black"). it's sooo rewarding because he just definately learned them and worked on them at home. some of the notes that we had made during previous lessons had little chinese kanjis next to them - showing he'd been trying to figure them out on his own. we also learned the word "and" "on" and about 10 verbs! (make, put, push, cut, eat, wash) finally!! some verbs! now we can make sentences ^_^! trust me... it's really really hard to communicate without verbs. oh, we also introduced the concept "not".

during the third week: we reviewed all old material again, reinforced subj/obj pronouns, some use of the word "not" but that was more on the back burner during these lessons, added more verbs (point, raise, put away, take out, write, listen, talk, erase) --obviously out of the first lesson in the picture dictionary book, and did lots of writing and spelling exercises. actually, every week there is at least a little bit of a spelling component, but there seemed to be more sentence practice this week. english vowels are just stupid. they make no sense for a new learner, so while i understand that speaking and writing of a language are completely different, i want to put a good deal of emphasis now on spelling so that it's not completely debilitating in the future. also we went over some basic expressions of greeting and leaving.

now we are in the fourth week: we are learning days of the week, months of the year, times of day (morning, noon, midnight, etc), re-did greetings and expressions (i'm sorry, excuse me, etc), lots of adjectives this week with their opposites (heavy/light, old/new, fast/slow, expensive/cheap, soft/hard, etc ~ about 10 pairs altogether). started introducing possessive pronouns (my/mine, your, his/her, our, etc.), more work on "not". "not" + noun = not a book. "not" + adj = not pink. "not" + verb = do not eat. also, in light of learning calendar phrases, i'm trying to teaching date counters: ex: Nov. 1 = November first, Nov. 16 = Novemebr sixteenth. there's always seeming like there are lots of little things creeping up that i'm like "oh wait... thats actually said like this... " english is very irregular!

as i teach today, i'm planning on doing a lot of review - there's been a lot of material covered so far - and lots of sentence structure/practice today! we'll see how it goes.

if any of you have any suggestions or helpful teaching websites, please let me know!! sank-yuu!

updates:

for the past three weeks or so, i've been teaching english to a chinese boy named Chen Han at Sushi Boat in Oakland. i've come to the following conclusions: english spelling is たいへん. that is all.

i know no chinese and he knows barely any english, so communication at times is also たいへん。i wish he knew japanese, this would be much easier. either way, i love doing it. and apparently sushi boats loves me too. i am given food almost every time that i teach, which i'm very grateful for. you can tell that these people are genuinely appreciative of my efforts and i almost forgot what simple joys can be had with such small offerings.

i'm also an acting english translator of any and all legal documents for them and am currently trying to tackle DMV issues for them. it's all pretty amusing for me to see people's reactions to me acting on their behalf. this woman at the DMV for example, took one look at Mei Yun and her uncle - immediately realized they were speaking chinese, looked at me and pretty much right there i could read on her face that she'd already given up trying to help. it's like foreign people aren't worth their time or its too much effort to actually explain things. i mean, she was only interfacing with me - an american - and she still resisted answering MY questions.

i just hope that if i get accepted to JET i'll find people to help and guide me like i am doing for my chinese friends. i am paid with hugs and food, and that's good enough for me! ^_^

listening to music makes me happy.

this year for halloween i passed out candy to trick-or-treaters for the first time. it was pretty cute, but there weren't quite as many kids as i thought there would be. apparently, they all thought it would be much cooler to "trick-or-treat" at the stores on Forbes and Murray - at 5 in the afternoon (half of the store's employee's just put on {e.g} a witches hat and that was their whole costume)! the real halloweeners knew what was up though, so it was ok.
i told maria about JET and swore her to secrecy, which i think she'll actually adhere to. i'm not planning on dropping the bomb to the rest of my family until i know something more conclusive [read as: get accepted].
last night we went to La Feria, the peruvian restaurant, with quite the crew: beth, bressers, steve, nick, and james. chuck met up with us later and we all went bowling at forward lanes. beth and i were share-buddies again and we drank chisaii beer again.

please drink me:

nectar of the gods.

for my friends, i bring tacos!

i'm applying for it. wish me luck!

recipie for heaven.

1 1/2 ounces kahlua
1 ounce amaretto
1/2 ounce tuaca
2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Blend together and top with whipped cream and biscotti. aaron first recommended this/made it for me at the olive garden. it's very very good. it's called frozen tiramisu.

this is how we look when we smile with faces.

(we know someone who smiles like this for serious)

last-nite: Mountain Goats.
to-nite: Rehersal Dinner.
tomorrow-nite: Wedding Fun.

check, check, check it out.

it's 4 days until maria's wedding. so far everything has gone smoothly with the plans. i can't wait! it's been quite a while since i've seen my extended family and i'm much looking forward to getting drunk and goofing around with everyone. i'll post pictures as soon as i can - i just found out today that my camera that i've been waiting for repairs to finish on is "not covered by warranty". it took them 6 weeks to tell me "Oh wait, lens malfunctions aren't covered. You can have your broken camera back, though." So i'll be looking to borrow one for Friday and Saturday's events - if anyone is willing to entrust your camera to me, i would be much obliged. (i have my own memory card).

i've been cooking much more lately and it's been a lot of fun. last night i prepared tuna steak, asparagus, and parsley potatoes ^_^. in other news i just started reading catch22 upon recommendation from max, it's slow going so far - the only read time i had so far was sunday during my lunch break when i went to primanti's during the steeler game... it wasn't the best reading atmosphere, but they have really good sandwiches!

lists:

it's been a while, so i'm bringing back my love for list making. my recent activities (in no order):

i. listening to a lot of The Decemberists (especially: Sons and Daughters)
ii. 勉強してます
iii. teaching chinese people how to drive
iv. studying for GRE's and realizing i've lost critical thinking skills
v. made guacamole for the first time and ate it all
vi. finished the series Gundum Wing
vii. read American Psycho and was smitten with it
viii. read the Communist Manifesto just because i never have
ix. finishing final preparations for maria's wedding
x. started weight training at steve's in hopes of getting in shape (and fending off osteoporosis)

this and that

last week, jam, emily, jason, beth, tessa and i went to Ohiopyle for a day of adventuring. (though we mainly went for the natural water slides to cool us off). it was a lot of fun. i'll hopefully post some of the pictures taken by em shortly. tessa and i were forced to ford the creek/river barefoot since we didn't come prepared with watershoes. overall things went well, even though i ended up sliding and ramming my foot into a (conveniently placed, pointy) rock underneath me. i now, 4 days later, don't feel the need to limp anymore, and my bruise is disappearing. i wish we had more time to explore the woods, but the evening crept on and we left before dusk. we didn't get too lost, but i will say this, "Dunbar, mark your signs better!"

i'm still awaiting my camera's return home. it's away at some bestbuy warehouse, i'm sure just sitting on a self, being "repaired". i didn't realize how much i like to catalog the little things in my life with it, and it's becoming irritating that it's taking so long to fix. thanks, bestbuy, customer service - top notch.

japanese is going well, even though one of my sections induces a coma nearly every time we meet, i feel like i'm at least getting better at my listening comprehension. aside from my (one) class, i'm getting more serious about narrowing my grad school search. i have a lot of trouble forcing myself forward at times. i'm scared of making a bad decision, thus leading my life down another unwise career [see: nursing] path. i have trouble overcoming my hesitance, and actually progress -- at least for the time being. my next big hurdle is taking the GREs. i purchased supposedly "the best" study prep book today, so we shall see if that claim holds true.

i am also in the process of making curtains for my kitchen. for those of you who don't know me very well, this is a big project a.) i don't "make" things and b.) i definitely don't sew. hopefully i'll come out of the situation a little more self sufficient, we shall see. i bought the fabric already as well as the rods to hang them. i mean, i have a degree, this can't be that hard ... the only thing easier to make would be a blanket. hell, i'm even cooking my own dinner these days...

Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. It was like they were making fun of *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: She thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

And the wind began to b l o w and the trees began to pant
And the world in its cold way started coming alive
And I stood there like a buisness man w a i t i n g for the train
And I got ready for the future to arrive.

my loves:

bressers, mei yun and i at SUSHIBOAT

me, waggie-san, bressers-san, hassell-san, tyler-san

the anniversary

how i miss you guys.

disappear here

i'm back from vacation in west palm beach visiting with jams' aunt. i'm a little sunburnt, but not too badly. i'm a little sick, but not too badly. i finished two books while traveling: less than zero and the rules of attraction both by bret easton ellis. i am absolutely in love with less than zero and am amazed ellis wrote it when he was only 19. i feel the same way as i did after i first read salinger. i find myself developing an inner monologue-narration of my own life and it's amusing me for now. i am currently reading american psycho, ellis's third novel. i haven't read fiction in a while and it's absolutely liberating.

wasabi peas, i love you.

summer in the city...

and it's h u m i d! today is my second day of freedom for the summer. i'm still really missing bott and now i'm missing my twins who have just left yesterday. despite the heat and the longing for certain friends, i've been pretty productive today which is always fun. i was able to check 3 items off of my newest to-do list, exercise, and later this evening i will be getting a hair cut/dye.

for the last few days i've been watching the planet earth series at steve's new place. two things 1.) it's ridiculously amazing 2.) even more so when watching with surround sound + massive sub-woofer. sunday night jordaño, joey rocket, and i went to see cool hand luke at the Oaks. beth and megart met up with us there. man - i love that movie. it's soo good, and i'm still surprised that it was actually made. it's pretty radical for it's time. "yeah, well... it give me something to do..."

私の友だちへ：

おはいようございます!　タイラーさんもマクスさんもハッセルさんも、今日にシカゴへ行ってます。とてもおもしろいでしょう。私は、小さい車だから、行きません。ざんねんだけど、あとでシカゴに行ます。来週フロリダへジャムスのかずこと行きます。休みの時間！

来月、二年生になります！よかったよ！じゃまた。。。

nothing gold can stay...

this summer has been absolutely fabulous. today was the last day of my summer intensive japanese program. i came away from it stronger, more independent, and obviously knowing a hell of a lot more japanese. i've been thinking about it and, for me, this is the best summer i've had in memories. there are so many reasons why, it's hard to list them all. but you know me and lists... so i'll try.

# nursing is finally starting to feel like it's taking a back seat in my life. i'm still working weekends, but somehow, that doesn't seem to matter. i actually felt free this summer, which was the exact opposite of the truth.
# i came into the course thinking that i wouldn't really make any friends - at least i wasn't holding out hope that i would. i half expected the class to be full of anime-kids and gamers... (that turned out to be painfully true of the second year students only.) much to my surprise, however, i bonded with five wonderful, beautiful, perfect, amazing people. i truely feel honored to have been able to meet such great people. without them, i don't think i could have made it through the long, long days and all of schwartz's attempts at the CCs. i can really go on and on at this point, but that will probably make me a little too nostalgic for comfort at the moment, so to sum up i would like to just say: Thank You.
# i feel like my life is actually gaining some direction for the first time in a long time. i don't know exactly what it is i'm going to be doing when i grow up, but i feel like i'm closer to answering that question than ever. teaching english abroad is becoming a very strong desire. traveling in general, i'm realizing, is a must in my life. there is so much out there that nursing cannot offer, and i want to be a part of it more than ever.
# i wasn't going to take this course because, honestly, i was afraid to let myself be too busy. i didn't want to feel rushed, or that i wasted my summer away. that attitude has actually been present as far as i can remember - i don't like to commit to things that might be difficult. i usually take the easy choice and coast through life. i didn't register until two days before the course and was still planning on dropping it. -- for those of you that don't know, the class was monday through friday, 9-4, and i work every saturday and sunday 7-7. so, this pretty much meant i had 10 weeks straight without a day off. i feel like this summer taught me that i can make it through tough times. i learned how to be organized. more importantly, if you are doing something you are passionate about, no matter how much is required of you, you will love it. honestly, the opposite is happening: i'm sad to see it all end.
# this summer i've felt more independent than i ever had in my young adult life. james had his internship this summer every monday through friday, and i had my class + weekend work. the time we spent together was very little. it might not sound too bad, but i wasn't convinced that i was going to be able to handle it. as i reflect back, i feel like i've developed a clingy personality over the years of being with the same person. we never have been away from each other for an extended amount of time, and we certainly always fit in together time. this anti-independence alone was starting to worry me, but it's a tough thing to identify a personal weakness and then actively change. the japanese program alone didn't make me more independent, but it kept me focused, and through all of my friends help i learned that me, by myself am a whole person with my own opinions and ideas and likes and dislikes and these people are my friends not just through association, which is something i wasn't totally convinced of before.

all in all i'm extremely happy right now, and i'm looking forward to my future.

this book has become a close friend...

it's been some time. june-july has really flown by! i've decided to continue my japanese education through the fall and potentially do something called the JET program next year. two of my classmates are leaving next week (for a year) to teach english as a second language to japanese children. one will be far north (perkins-san), the other (botto-san) will be west of tokyo.

i will definitely try to do some more research on it, but right now, it's a very large possibility for me. the second possibility is to start a graduate program abroad if i don't teach english (which could also potentially be my grad school focus in of itself). this is literally all the time i have to write, i'll fill you in more later, little blog: ima, totemo isogashii - watashi!

p.s. i'm working on finding a program that will enable kana/kanji. if you know of one, let me know!