please drink me:

nectar of the gods.

for my friends, i bring tacos!

i'm applying for it. wish me luck!

recipie for heaven.

1 1/2 ounces kahlua
1 ounce amaretto
1/2 ounce tuaca
2 scoops vanilla ice cream

Blend together and top with whipped cream and biscotti. aaron first recommended this/made it for me at the olive garden. it's very very good. it's called frozen tiramisu.

this is how we look when we smile with faces.

(we know someone who smiles like this for serious)

last-nite: Mountain Goats.
to-nite: Rehersal Dinner.
tomorrow-nite: Wedding Fun.

check, check, check it out.

it's 4 days until maria's wedding. so far everything has gone smoothly with the plans. i can't wait! it's been quite a while since i've seen my extended family and i'm much looking forward to getting drunk and goofing around with everyone. i'll post pictures as soon as i can - i just found out today that my camera that i've been waiting for repairs to finish on is "not covered by warranty". it took them 6 weeks to tell me "Oh wait, lens malfunctions aren't covered. You can have your broken camera back, though." So i'll be looking to borrow one for Friday and Saturday's events - if anyone is willing to entrust your camera to me, i would be much obliged. (i have my own memory card).

i've been cooking much more lately and it's been a lot of fun. last night i prepared tuna steak, asparagus, and parsley potatoes ^_^. in other news i just started reading catch22 upon recommendation from max, it's slow going so far - the only read time i had so far was sunday during my lunch break when i went to primanti's during the steeler game... it wasn't the best reading atmosphere, but they have really good sandwiches!

lists:

it's been a while, so i'm bringing back my love for list making. my recent activities (in no order):

i. listening to a lot of The Decemberists (especially: Sons and Daughters)
ii. 勉強してます
iii. teaching chinese people how to drive
iv. studying for GRE's and realizing i've lost critical thinking skills
v. made guacamole for the first time and ate it all
vi. finished the series Gundum Wing
vii. read American Psycho and was smitten with it
viii. read the Communist Manifesto just because i never have
ix. finishing final preparations for maria's wedding
x. started weight training at steve's in hopes of getting in shape (and fending off osteoporosis)

this and that

last week, jam, emily, jason, beth, tessa and i went to Ohiopyle for a day of adventuring. (though we mainly went for the natural water slides to cool us off). it was a lot of fun. i'll hopefully post some of the pictures taken by em shortly. tessa and i were forced to ford the creek/river barefoot since we didn't come prepared with watershoes. overall things went well, even though i ended up sliding and ramming my foot into a (conveniently placed, pointy) rock underneath me. i now, 4 days later, don't feel the need to limp anymore, and my bruise is disappearing. i wish we had more time to explore the woods, but the evening crept on and we left before dusk. we didn't get too lost, but i will say this, "Dunbar, mark your signs better!"

i'm still awaiting my camera's return home. it's away at some bestbuy warehouse, i'm sure just sitting on a self, being "repaired". i didn't realize how much i like to catalog the little things in my life with it, and it's becoming irritating that it's taking so long to fix. thanks, bestbuy, customer service - top notch.

japanese is going well, even though one of my sections induces a coma nearly every time we meet, i feel like i'm at least getting better at my listening comprehension. aside from my (one) class, i'm getting more serious about narrowing my grad school search. i have a lot of trouble forcing myself forward at times. i'm scared of making a bad decision, thus leading my life down another unwise career [see: nursing] path. i have trouble overcoming my hesitance, and actually progress -- at least for the time being. my next big hurdle is taking the GREs. i purchased supposedly "the best" study prep book today, so we shall see if that claim holds true.

i am also in the process of making curtains for my kitchen. for those of you who don't know me very well, this is a big project a.) i don't "make" things and b.) i definitely don't sew. hopefully i'll come out of the situation a little more self sufficient, we shall see. i bought the fabric already as well as the rods to hang them. i mean, i have a degree, this can't be that hard ... the only thing easier to make would be a blanket. hell, i'm even cooking my own dinner these days...

Donald Kaufman: Oh, God. I was so in love with her.
Charlie Kaufman: I know. And you were flirting with her. And she was really sweet to you.
Donald Kaufman: I remember that.
Charlie Kaufman: Then, when you walked away, she started making fun of you with Kim Canetti. It was like they were making fun of *me*. You didn't know at all. You seemed so happy.
Donald Kaufman: I knew. I heard them.
Charlie Kaufman: How come you looked so happy?
Donald Kaufman: I loved Sarah, Charles. It was mine, that love. I owned it. Even Sarah didn't have the right to take it away. I can love whoever I want.
Charlie Kaufman: She thought you were pathetic.
Donald Kaufman: That was her business, not mine. You are what you love, not what loves you. That's what I decided a long time ago.

And the wind began to b l o w and the trees began to pant
And the world in its cold way started coming alive
And I stood there like a buisness man w a i t i n g for the train
And I got ready for the future to arrive.

my loves:

bressers, mei yun and i at SUSHIBOAT

me, waggie-san, bressers-san, hassell-san, tyler-san

the anniversary

how i miss you guys.

disappear here

i'm back from vacation in west palm beach visiting with jams' aunt. i'm a little sunburnt, but not too badly. i'm a little sick, but not too badly. i finished two books while traveling: less than zero and the rules of attraction both by bret easton ellis. i am absolutely in love with less than zero and am amazed ellis wrote it when he was only 19. i feel the same way as i did after i first read salinger. i find myself developing an inner monologue-narration of my own life and it's amusing me for now. i am currently reading american psycho, ellis's third novel. i haven't read fiction in a while and it's absolutely liberating.

wasabi peas, i love you.

summer in the city...

and it's h u m i d! today is my second day of freedom for the summer. i'm still really missing bott and now i'm missing my twins who have just left yesterday. despite the heat and the longing for certain friends, i've been pretty productive today which is always fun. i was able to check 3 items off of my newest to-do list, exercise, and later this evening i will be getting a hair cut/dye.

for the last few days i've been watching the planet earth series at steve's new place. two things 1.) it's ridiculously amazing 2.) even more so when watching with surround sound + massive sub-woofer. sunday night jordaño, joey rocket, and i went to see cool hand luke at the Oaks. beth and megart met up with us there. man - i love that movie. it's soo good, and i'm still surprised that it was actually made. it's pretty radical for it's time. "yeah, well... it give me something to do..."

私の友だちへ：

おはいようございます!　タイラーさんもマクスさんもハッセルさんも、今日にシカゴへ行ってます。とてもおもしろいでしょう。私は、小さい車だから、行きません。ざんねんだけど、あとでシカゴに行ます。来週フロリダへジャムスのかずこと行きます。休みの時間！

来月、二年生になります！よかったよ！じゃまた。。。

nothing gold can stay...

this summer has been absolutely fabulous. today was the last day of my summer intensive japanese program. i came away from it stronger, more independent, and obviously knowing a hell of a lot more japanese. i've been thinking about it and, for me, this is the best summer i've had in memories. there are so many reasons why, it's hard to list them all. but you know me and lists... so i'll try.

# nursing is finally starting to feel like it's taking a back seat in my life. i'm still working weekends, but somehow, that doesn't seem to matter. i actually felt free this summer, which was the exact opposite of the truth.
# i came into the course thinking that i wouldn't really make any friends - at least i wasn't holding out hope that i would. i half expected the class to be full of anime-kids and gamers... (that turned out to be painfully true of the second year students only.) much to my surprise, however, i bonded with five wonderful, beautiful, perfect, amazing people. i truely feel honored to have been able to meet such great people. without them, i don't think i could have made it through the long, long days and all of schwartz's attempts at the CCs. i can really go on and on at this point, but that will probably make me a little too nostalgic for comfort at the moment, so to sum up i would like to just say: Thank You.
# i feel like my life is actually gaining some direction for the first time in a long time. i don't know exactly what it is i'm going to be doing when i grow up, but i feel like i'm closer to answering that question than ever. teaching english abroad is becoming a very strong desire. traveling in general, i'm realizing, is a must in my life. there is so much out there that nursing cannot offer, and i want to be a part of it more than ever.
# i wasn't going to take this course because, honestly, i was afraid to let myself be too busy. i didn't want to feel rushed, or that i wasted my summer away. that attitude has actually been present as far as i can remember - i don't like to commit to things that might be difficult. i usually take the easy choice and coast through life. i didn't register until two days before the course and was still planning on dropping it. -- for those of you that don't know, the class was monday through friday, 9-4, and i work every saturday and sunday 7-7. so, this pretty much meant i had 10 weeks straight without a day off. i feel like this summer taught me that i can make it through tough times. i learned how to be organized. more importantly, if you are doing something you are passionate about, no matter how much is required of you, you will love it. honestly, the opposite is happening: i'm sad to see it all end.
# this summer i've felt more independent than i ever had in my young adult life. james had his internship this summer every monday through friday, and i had my class + weekend work. the time we spent together was very little. it might not sound too bad, but i wasn't convinced that i was going to be able to handle it. as i reflect back, i feel like i've developed a clingy personality over the years of being with the same person. we never have been away from each other for an extended amount of time, and we certainly always fit in together time. this anti-independence alone was starting to worry me, but it's a tough thing to identify a personal weakness and then actively change. the japanese program alone didn't make me more independent, but it kept me focused, and through all of my friends help i learned that me, by myself am a whole person with my own opinions and ideas and likes and dislikes and these people are my friends not just through association, which is something i wasn't totally convinced of before.

all in all i'm extremely happy right now, and i'm looking forward to my future.

this book has become a close friend...

it's been some time. june-july has really flown by! i've decided to continue my japanese education through the fall and potentially do something called the JET program next year. two of my classmates are leaving next week (for a year) to teach english as a second language to japanese children. one will be far north (perkins-san), the other (botto-san) will be west of tokyo.

i will definitely try to do some more research on it, but right now, it's a very large possibility for me. the second possibility is to start a graduate program abroad if i don't teach english (which could also potentially be my grad school focus in of itself). this is literally all the time i have to write, i'll fill you in more later, little blog: ima, totemo isogashii - watashi!

p.s. i'm working on finding a program that will enable kana/kanji. if you know of one, let me know!